Should there be separate threads for steamy commments about stars?

[Dil Bert]

Serious question.  The comments in the Stargazing and some other threads may be offputting to younger/more traditional members.  Since the forum doesn't store the images, it's not a problem for the forum for users to link to the same photo in a few different places, so users can still include the image of their desire in the appropriate steamy thread with their comments.  Or perhaps the steamy comments should all go into the "obsessed with" threads instead of new threads?

I posted instead of contacting the mods because this users could start the threads on their own.  Moving steamy comments over to such threads would of course be a thankless task for moderators.   

I could be misreading the situation and perhaps it's healthy for youngsters to see their star is the object of many desires.  It's a bit sickening as a man to go through those threads in search of amusing images, but we can take it.   

[Ms. Chandni]

That's an interesting idea, Dil Bert.  I know some of the comments get pretty steamy sometimes. (Guilty!) Those threads remind me of sitting around the kitchen table with my sisters, mom, and other female relatives - it was educational and enlightening to hear some of the older gals talk about sex in a healthy and frank manner.  But if there's a separate thread for the steamy comments, would they get totally out of control and gross?  I think knowing that the posts will be read by young and/or traditional members helps us keep a lid on things and makes us self-moderate, or at least take it down a notch or two eventually.  So, basically, I'm on the fence about this one.

[chinchinchu]

I think the "obsessed with" threads are a good place for them, and one going to such thread would probably expect that.

But not sure if there is an effective way to keep people from gushingly commenting on photos in the stargazing thread.... Guess one could just encourage people to reference those photos when they are on the obsessed thread.

[someone]

It's a bit sickening as a man to go through those threads in search of amusing images, but we can take it.    

You too, huh. Yeah, I agree, I wish I could be spared reading some of these threads in the morning - they show up in Recent Posts and can't be filtered. Some of them are really lowest-common-denominator imo but whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

I'd asked the mods if there was a way to filter by thread (ignore threads instead of people) so I could avoid certain threads altogether but I didn't get any response.

[NewLaura]

I'd asked the mods if there was a way to filter by thread (ignore threads instead of people) so I could avoid certain threads altogether but I didn't get any response.

I asked about that a while ago, too.  The best solution I've come up with is to read the threads I want to read in the "unread posts," then click "mark as read" to get rid of all of the others.

[SRKFanatic]

I'd asked the mods if there was a way to filter by thread (ignore threads instead of people) so I could avoid certain threads altogether but I didn't get any response.

I feel like I'm missing something here.  If you want to avoid a thread, just don't open it.  Doesn't that work?

[someone]

I feel like I'm missing something here.  If you want to avoid a thread, just don't open it.  Doesn't that work?

That's just my point - I don't seem to have a choice on which threads I want to open, since all the posts are already laid out on the screen when I go into Recent Posts.

A separate "No Holds Barred" section/forum that doesn't show up in Recent Posts is another idea that'd work for me.

[SRKFanatic]

That's just my point - I don't seem to have a choice on which threads I want to open, since all the posts are already laid out on the screen when I go into Recent Posts.

Maybe a better way for you to browse the forum then would be using the 'Show unread posts since last visit' link at the top of the page instead of Recent Posts.  You see the updated threads that way, and can choose to not open certain threads.

[someone]

Maybe a better way for you to browse the forum then would be using the 'Show unread posts since last visit' link at the top of the page instead of Recent Posts.  You see the updated threads that way, and can choose to not open certain threads.

Ok, let me use that and see if it works for me. Thanks!

ETA: I just tried this. It's just more efficient to use Recent Posts since it shows you all the posts right away instead of having to jump through two hoops to get to your post. I just wanted to be able to say show all recent posts except for these 5 threads. But oh well, I guess 'unread posts' it is..

[Dil Bert]

But not sure if there is an effective way to keep people from gushingly commenting on photos in the stargazing thread....

Praise is one thing (admittedly, it gets pretty stomach-turning in its own right) but the ones that imply the poster is

Spoiler (hover to show) typing with one hand

are worse.

I'll note that guys, usually the ones who usually push the boundaries on the forum, almost uniformly have refrained from these sorts of comments.  So consider the situation if the Kareena/Shreya/Sonam/etc. threads were filled with comments implying the poster's desire for the actress (in typical subtle guy fashion)?

[Darshana]

I don't look at those threads much at the moment, so I haven't seen what you're talking about, but I have an idea we all agreed on signup to only post things that could be regarded as "discussion," and not -- well, exclamation.  I remember an example that was something like - don't post "I want to have Shah Rukh's baby!"

As I recall, the idea was that it's not hard to find a fan site where people say things like that.

[los angeles]

It's a bit sickening as a man to go through those threads

Some of them are really lowest-common-denominator imo but whatever

admittedly, it gets pretty stomach-turning in its own right

I think I'm probably going to be shot down for this but I'm going to post it anyway.

DilBerts and Someone, you know I love you guys, but I feel you are being kind of persons with raincloud on the party/parade?

Steamy, stomach-turning, sickening and low common-denominator? Are you serious with this.

I feel like people who've been lovely and open about their infatuations w/ their favourite actors are going to read this thread and feel embarrassed. (Infatuated persons: please don't feel that way for one seconds even!!!)

DB and Someone, you are saying separate thread/section but it sounds as if you wish you didn't have to see those comments at all? As if you wish certain posters would be quiet?

All these posters who melt over Aamir, Shahid or SRK or whoever they like, is that a problem?

I read lots of extremely clever Hollywood and Los Angeles entertainment blogs, those very cynical, sarcastic, dark-comedy ones that eviscerate everyone and skewer the entertainment field and tear the media folks to pieces every day. (They're hilarious and awesome!! Hats off to those writers.) But the comments on this forum are nothing compared to the comments on those kinds of blogs. The comments on this forum are actually quite adorable!

And actually I think these kind of adoring comments on here make for a really fun atmosphere. I'm painfully shy when it comes to romantic stuff due to a highly conservative academic upbringing. When other people joke around and have fun posting about who they're fond of (even in just a jovial bantering manner) it gives the rest of us permission to sort of do the same. And it makes the mood very nice and easy-going, like people are just saying what they think without worrying too much?

If this board was only serious film analysis and scholarly comments then I don't think that would be very fun at all.

I so much like that people here are relaxed and having fun, enough to say who they really like and who they think about. If the comments go a little overboard sometimes, still seems like they're engaging and humorous, doesn't it?

The same way I so appreciate Bollyking's snark and captions, I also have so much fun reading about who everyone fancies/likes in these movies we all watch. (Do other people feel the same way on that? Now I'm wondering.)

On the other hand, I could be way off-base and have no idea what I'm talking about as usual.

And also as usual I have written a huge long essay here where I meant to make a small brief post.

I think the mods/admin will let us know what they would prefer in this situation? Is this against the rules to be talking over this in this thread? (I mean the rule saying no talking about the forum on the forum...are we going counter to that rule here.)

[blue]

I don't look at those threads much at the moment, so I haven't seen what you're talking about, but I have an idea we all agreed on signup to only post things that could be regarded as "discussion," and not -- well, exclamation.  I remember an example that was something like - don't post "I want to have Shah Rukh's baby!"

I believe this rule does not apply in the stargazing thread which is where I assume these kind of comments may have been made. I have not come across any truly vulgar comments but I understand some members may feel uncomfortable if comments go overboard.

Personally I use the 'Show Unread posts' link which means I don't have to look at or read topics I don't wish to.

[los angeles]

I have not come across any truly vulgar comments

Neither have I! Where are all of these supposedly stomach-turning and sickening comments? Am I missing something? I feel like I haven't seen even one comment like that.

Maybe I'm just oblivious though   

[latishya]

i can see some validity to dil berts comments. there are many 'meat market' type comments made about male stars that would draw sustained critical fire if made by male forum members about female stars. it doesnt bother me too much because i dont read those threads very often but the sort of commentss dil bert is talking about are part of the reason why i dont. there is a difference between squee and sleaze and i have to concur with dil bert that some ocmments come close to blurring that line.

[someone]

^What latishya said. Meat-market is the right word.

DB and Someone, you are saying separate thread/section but it sounds as if you wish you didn't have to see those comments at all? As if you wish certain posters would be quiet?

Speaking for myself, I don't want to spoil anyone's fun. Which is why all I asked for the forum to have is an 'ignore thread' button, so people who want to salivate and gush over the size, shape, nooks and crannies of people's crotches or other bodyparts, or go into palpitations over pubic hair or whatever peeking out in male pics, can do so with pleasure without me having to see it. I thought earlier maybe it's a common thing for Western women (and I say this because I haven't seen Indian women do it, here or anywhere else - it kinda reinforced certain stereotypes btw ), and that maybe it was a cultural difference that only I, being Indian, was having a pukey reaction to these kinds of posts, so I decided to live with it (while holding my nose and attempting to retain my breakfast, of course ;)). But the fact that Dil Bert, NewLaura and latishya, who are as Western as they come, are having similar reactions, suggests it's something else - maybe it's that people's standards differ?

All these posters who melt over Aamir, Shahid or SRK or whoever they like, is that a problem?

Latishya said it perfectly - there's a difference between squee and sleaze. I realize squeeing and gushing is something girls typically do, and that can't be avoided on a movie forum.

All that said and done, I am hardly asking the mods to censor people's tastes, am I? All I'm asking for is for tools on the forum to spare some of us. An 'ignore thread' option would do it perfectly! And it might even come in handy for others - when people have no interest in certain threads.

I'm going to use 'unread posts' in the meantime, though it's a real pain compared to 'recent posts'.

[Dil Bert]

The inability to ignore threads is orthogonal to steamy comments, because such comments are spread throughout threads in the forum.  A post in film fare might have them, for example.

Part of the problem is that ladies seem to seek to top each other in the comments, leading to increasingly risqué remarks.

My suggestion (and only that) at this point is that ladies use the "obsessed with [star name]" threads for comments about what they would like to do with stars (including the use of their tongue).  That's where most of it is anyway. 

[LinKarish]

go into palpitations over pubic hair or whatever peeking out in male pics,

Umm, just to clarify--if this is about my post in the Kareena thread.  My comments about Saif's hair had nothing to do with pubic hair, but the fact that he had hair on his body. Since waxing the whole upper body is all the rage.  That was what I first noticed and what immediately led me to make that comment.

[someone]

Umm, just to clarify--if this is about my post in the Kareena thread.  My comments about Saif's hair had nothing to do with pubic hair, but the fact that he had hair on his body. Since waxing the whole upper body is all the rage.  That was what I first noticed and what immediately led me to make that comment.

Honestly, I don't keep tabs on who posts this stuff . And I try to avoid the content too - well, as much as I can - so it might have been that post or some other.. just stuff I don't want in my head, is all.

[James]

As a moderator, I am reading this thread and scratching my head for more than one reason.

1)  You are all old hands on this board.  It's well known that the moderators prefer to be approached via private message if you wish to discuss board policy.  Even aside from any other reason, it's obviously the most direct way to get our attention and engage us on board policy. 

2)  A few have mentioned posts they feel are vulgar or inappropriate, yet those posts have not been reported to any of us as inappropriate.  Each post on this board does have an option on the bottom right-hand corner, and a message is sent to us when you click on it for us to moderate the post. 

As far as hopes to be able to ignore thread, etc., are concerned, this is not to my knowledge a possibility on this forum's software unfortunately.  Hopefully something to that effect will become available as we duly update the software as newer versions become available.  I am unaware if a mod is available that can do this, but considering the difficulties we've had with the forum's software in the recent past, I'm sure I speak for all the mods in saying that I'm not interested in further complicating or adjusting the software of the forum in any way.

I think the best thing to do at this point in order to address concerns is to look at specific posts.  Those of you with concerns, please flag posts that trouble you by clicking on the button on the bottom right of the post and the moderators will discuss the matter and get back to you on it.  Please keep in mind that as we're all rather busy these days, it may take some time, but we will follow up.  As we will be taking this matter to private message and/or email then, I'm locking this thread.
 
Please private message me any questions or concerns.